today, too

i drank too much tea and had too many feelings, so here’s a little something.

love manifests in a great many different ways. from person to person, friend to friend and lover to lover, the sound of someone saying “i love you,” is different every single time. this is a truth tiffany understands better than anyone.

she hears it clearly in the way yoona affectionately calls her pink pig, sparkly pig, disco pig, checkered pig. the way she shares her food, and they both pig out on candy and chocolate coated popcorn and fill each other’s phones with selfies of funny faces together, their hamster cheeks puffed with food.

it is the way stern, capable, prim and proper maknae comes to her to be babied; to sometimes whine and be a child so she can be unnie. and tiffany knows it’s not just an act to make her feel better, just a strong, quiet person carrying too many things stopping by to drop their burdens and rest by her side for a bit.

the way hyoyeon always seems to know when she needs cheering up. when to make her screech with side-splitting laughter, and when to leave her alone, when not even a vaguely contextual joke makes enough nonsense to laugh at.

it is when sooyoung disses her dance moves at the club, gets shitfaced with her and still wakes her up bright and early for sunday church the very next day because it’s important to them. the way she very adamantly refuses to share food, but when tiffany looks away and back again, she’ll find pieces of food missing off her plate, traded for choice morsels from sooyoung’s own.

when yuri and her argue about dance spots, and she makes herself obnoxious crowing about being right, but at the end of the day, they fall onto each other in a heap and watch tv while talking about life’s mysterious ups and downs.

and wise, perceptive sunny always giving her a hand to squeeze, to stop her from wringing them nervously in front of the cameras; is always half a wince ahead of when the stage hands are due to pop the confetti cannons, so it’s the least she can do, covering sunny’s ears for her for when they inevitably go off.

tiffany hears all of their ‘i love yous’, – some quiet, some loud – in their own respective languages, and does her very best to answer them with her own. she is a person who loves a lot and too much, and sometimes she gets strung up to dry for it. sometimes when the world takes too much from her and she feels her heart in several pieces, she can’t answer love with love, but only take and revel selfishly until she can give again.

during those times, the girls prop her up, like bones supporting the trappings of her flesh and skin, and she takes their love, turns it into courage and struggles on.

it’s hard not to fall in love with love – with the special kind of concern only those who mean enough are worthy of receiving. but tiffany knows. she knows about the similarities and minuscule differences that are sometimes a whole world of differences, and.

today, too.

it is a simple trip to the convenient store. the girls wanted snacks, and the list of last minute items they’re missing while packing to leave for osaka, is long and sundry. as usual, taeyeon volunteers to go, after being cooped up in the house for too long. and it’s standard GG policy to always take a member on such trips when the managers are off or busy, so tiffany comes too, and.

and today, too, is a day tiffany falls in love.

it is with the way taeyeon’s eyes light in excitement at the prospect of doing something potentially stupid for them to laugh at later. it is in the wide grin they share as she shoves her phone into her hands and tells her, “i’ve got an idea,” and makes sure she’s recording before proceeding to daintily strut down the carpeted incline, in time with the music.

it’s silly, and weird, and she doesn’t think it’s actually all that funny but it’s taeyeon, and she finds love in the deep laughter that vibrates out of taeyeon’s chest that makes flowers bloom in her own.

and when taeyeon disappears around the corner for a second time like a cartoon character, tiffany is grinning the full force of her eye smile for no one but herself.

she stops recording when she sees taeyeon waiting for her in the corner, smiling guilelessly in the triangle of space between the wall and doors. taeyeon puts her hand out for her phone. tiffany grins and tucks it into the back pocket of her shorts.

“what are you doing?” taeyeon says, still smiling, all closed-lipped and adoring.

tiffany steps into her space, cups her face in her hands, brushes her thumb over soft cheeks, and kisses her gently, letting her thoughts punctuate her actions.

i love you, thank you for making me smile.

i love you, thank you for taking care of me.

i love you.

i love you.

i love you.

and when she pulls away, taeyeon leans into her, chasing her lips. she grins, and obliges.

it’s only when she feels hands skim the small of her back, feels fingers skirting under the hem of her shirt that she pulls back with a laugh.

taeyeon pouts.

tiffany laughs, pulling away. taeyeon mourns the loss of her warmth.

“c’mon, we gotta get the stuff before the stores close,” tiffany says, swiping her keycard and pushing open the heavy security doors.

“but kisses.”

and tiffany laughs, feeling the day’s burdens fall away.

“you’ll get more kisses once we make it back to the room,” tiffany says, putting her hand out, wiggling her fingers for taeyeon to take.

taeyeon grabs the hand, automatically laces their fingers together. “okay, let’s go.”

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4 thoughts on “today, too

  1. Oh wow. I haven’t been reading stories for quite a while now and I’m so glad I came back here to read some. Ah, too much feels!! My heart!!! T_T thank you for this wonderful story dear author! 🙂 totally loved tiffany’s i love yous to taeyeon T_T

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